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In Buddhist scripture from ancient times sages have compared the human mind with a wild ox. The ox, the most useful beast of burden in those days, had to be captured, tethered and broken to a harness of sorts, a long slow process which eventually made available to man the great power of the beast. Following the example in the story, the Zen initiate is encouraged to directly experience his own mind through zazen (sitting meditation), subdue anxieties and desires, experience oneness with all, and find ultimately great peacefulness (satori).

1. The Search for the Bull In the pasture of this world, I endlessly push aside the tall grasses in search of the bull. Following unnamed rivers, lost upon the interpenetrating paths of distant mountains, My strength failing and my vitality exhausted, I cannot find the bull. I only hear the locusts chirring through the forest at night. Comment: The bull never has been lost. What need is there to search? Only because of separation from my true nature, I fail to find him. In the confusion of the senses I lose even his tracks. Far from home, I see many crossroads, but which way is the right one I know not. Greed and fear, good and bad, entangle me. Translation by Paul Reps. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Ruminations on Zen's Cows by Ming Zhen Shakya, OHY, Zen Buddhist Order of Hsu Yun The set of pictures we will display, that of Guo-an Shih Yuan [Kaku-an] - the one that unfortunately became popular in Japan - is clearly . . . unsatisfactory. The animal is presented in contradictory terms - first as the desired Buddha Self and then as the undesirable ego. Such information as it conveys is either banal or incomprehensible.

#1. Searching for the Ox. The series opens in a standard straightforward manner. The Oxherder is searching for his ox which clearly represents his Buddha Self. The text assures us that the Ox has never really gone anywhere, it is the boy who is lost in his own egoism. Commentary by Ming Zhen Shakya. CLICK HERE  for source information.

2. FINDING THE TRACKS
Innumerable footprints has he seen
in the forest and along the water's edge.
Over yonder does he see the trampled grass?
Even the deepest gorges of the topmost mountains
can't hide this Ox's nose which reaches right to heaven.

Through the sutras and teachings he discerns the tracks of the Ox. (He has been informed that just as different-shaped golden vessels are all basically of the same gold, so each and every thing is a manifestation of the Self. But he is unable to distinguish good from evil, truth from falsity. He has not actually entered the gate, but he sees in a tentative way the tracks of the Ox.

Translation by Philip Kapleau. CLICK HERE  for source information.

2. Discovering the footprints Along the riverbank under the trees, I discover footprints! Even under the fragrant grass I see his prints. Deep in remote mountains they are found. These traces no more can be hidden than one's nose, looking heavenward. Comment: Understanding the teaching, I see the footprints of the bull. Then I learn that, just as many utensils are made from one metal, so too are myriad entities made of the fabric of self. Unless I discriminate, how will I perceive the true from the untrue? Not yet having entered the gate, nevertheless I have discerned the path. Translation by Paul Reps. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Second image: Finding the path At this stage, the searcher finds indications, clues in one or more spiritual traditions, he is attracted by books of wisdom, he assists to conferences on the subject, he meets masters and notices that there are others that have followed the same path, he is not the first person to have noticed that there is something subtle to attain. This stage, generally, starts with yoga practice, meditation or other disciplines. Through these he experiences sensations related to the spirit. In the first image the farmer searches all over, without a specific order, whereas in the second image his search is more focussed and better oriented. Commentary by Alfonso Carrasco. CLICK HERE  for source information.

#2. Seeing the Traces. This picture also conveys a truth. After study and reflection the boy begins to understand the Dharma. Commentary by Ming Zhen Shakya. CLICK HERE  for source information.

3. FIRST GLIMPSE OF THE OX
A nightingale warbles on a twig,
the sun shines on undulating willows.
There stands the Ox, where could he hide?
That splendid head, those stately horns,
what artist could portray them?

If he will but listen intently to everyday sounds, he will come to realization and at that instant see the very Source. The six senses are no different from this true Source. In every activity the Source is manifestly present. It is analogous to the salt in water or the binder in paint. when the inner vision is properly focused, one comes to realize that that which is seen is identical with the true Source.

Translation by Philip Kapleau. CLICK HERE  for source information.

3. Perceiving the Bull I hear the song of the nightingale. The sun is warm, the wind is mild, willows are green along the shore, Here no bull can hide! What artist can draw that massive head, those majestic horns? Comment: When one hears the voice, one can sense its source. As soon as the six senses merge, the gate is entered. Wherever one enters one sees the head of the bull! This unity is like salt in water, like color in dyestuff. The slightest thing is not apart from self. Translation by Paul Reps. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Third image: The first glimpse. This would be considered the first spiritual experience, the student gets to see his true self and feel the kundalai energy that awakens within him. It is equivalent to the first contact with the master that initiates him or transmits him his energy. Kundalai energy is both physical and spiritual in nature. The searcher's objective will be to elevate this energy towards his consciousness instead of repressing or eliminating the animal within. This first insight can also originate from religious experiences in the form of celestial visions. As a summary, the first sight is any kind of vision or unusual experience that stimulates the individual to follow the path towards that which is transcendental. Commentary by Alfonso Carrasco. CLICK HERE  for source information.

#3. Seeing the Ox. Again, this is conceptually valid. Through contemplation, through sound and other sensory control, the Oxherder recognizes the Buddha Self within himself. Commentary by Ming Zhen Shakya. CLICK HERE  for source information.

4. CATCHING THE OX
He must tightly grasp the rope and not let it go,
for the Ox still has unhealthy tendencics.
Now he charges up to the highlands,
now he loiters in a misty ravine.

Today he encountered the Ox, which had long been cavorting in the wild fields, and ac- tually grasped it. For so long a time has it reveled in these surroundings that breaking it of its old habits is not easy. It continues to yearn for sweet-scented grasses, it is still stubborn and unbridled. If he would tame it completely, the man must use his whip.

Translation by Philip Kapleau. CLICK HERE  for source information.

4. Catching the bull I seize him with a terrific struggle. His great will and power are inexhaustible. He charges to the high plateau far above the cloud-mists, Or in an impenetrable ravine he stands. Comment: He dwelt in the forest a long time, but I caught him today! Infatuation for scenery interferes with his direction. Longing for sweeter grass, he wanders away. His mind still is stubborn and unbridled. If I wish him to submit, I must raise my whip. Translation by Paul Reps. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Fourth image: Capturing the bull The farmer has caught the animal but it is still stubborn and does not follow him. He has finally caught it but it is obstinate and uncontrolled. Its energy and decision are relentless, at times it runs toward the hills, at other times it stays unmovable in deep impenetrable valleys. It symbolizes our struggle with our basic nature, something that can last a whole lifetime. At this stage a person must analyse if he is advancing and attaining a clearer understanding or he is simply stuck and protecting himself behind certain doctrines or ideas related to spiritual practice. Commentary by Alfonso Carrasco. CLICK HERE  for source information.

#4. Catching the Ox. Here we have a radical departure from the sense of the text. The Ox is no longer the desirable Buddha Self but is instead wild and unruly and "refuses to be broken". The Oxherder must use the whip on the animal. We have often heard, "If while meditating you see a vision of the Buddha, spit in its face and it will go away." The same sort of blasphemous ignorance informs the commentary. Commentary by Ming Zhen Shakya. CLICK HERE  for source information.

5. TAMING THE OX
He must hold the nose-rope tight and not allow the Ox to roam,
lest off to muddy haunts it should stray.
Properly tended, it becomes clean and gentle.
Untethered, it willingly follows its master.

With the rising of one thought another and another are born. Enlightenment brings the realization that such thoughts are not unreal since even they arise from our True-nature. It is only because delusion still remains that they are imagined to be unreal. This state of delusion does not originate in the objective world but in our own minds.

Translation by Philip Kapleau. CLICK HERE  for source information.

5.Taming the Bull The whip and rope are necessary, Else he might stray off down some dusty road. Being well trained, he becomes naturally gentle. Then, unfettered, he obeys his master. Comment: When one thought arises, another thought follows. When the first thought springs from enlightenment, all subsequent thoughts are true. Through delusion, one makes everything untrue. Delusion is not caused by objectivity; it is the result of subjectivity. Hold the nose-ring tight and do not allow even a doubt. Translation by Paul Reps. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Fifth image: Taming the bull This represents the control of our physical or animal nature, this is attained by knowing it, in other words, listening and dialoging with it. The farmer is now directing the bull with the reins and controls it to the extent that the bull lets himself be guided. Little by little the man becomes the master. What he does at this stage is unite his conciousness with the animal nature (basic nature). For example, a professional animal trainer knows that using force you do not tame the animal, only harmonizing his conciousness with the animal conscience can he attain that. This is why many of the effective spiritual development formulas do not try to conquer, dominate, destroy or eliminate the ego, rather they teach you to live in harmony with it. Actually, it is the ego or the mind itself, that promotes the search of one's Self and it must go through all the stages. Thus to talk about eliminating it is absurd. Commentary by Alfonso Carrasco. CLICK HERE  for source information.

#5. Herding the Ox. Again, the text refers to the animal as the enemy which must be controlled with tether and whip. Commentary by Ming Zhen Shakya. CLICK HERE  for source information.

6. RIDING THE OX HOME!
Riding free as air he buoyantly comes home
through evening mists in wide straw-hat and cape.
Wherever he may go he creates a fresh breeze,
while in his heart profound tranquility prevails.
This Ox requires not a blade of grass.

The struggle is over, "gain" and "loss" no longer affect him. He hums the rustic tune of the woodsman and plays the simple songs of the village children. Astride the Ox's back, he gazes serenely at the clouds above. His head does not turn [in the direction of temptations] .Try though one may to upset him, he remains undisturbed.

Translation by Philip Kapleau. CLICK HERE  for source information.

6. Riding the Bull Home Mounting the bull, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me. Comment: This struggle is over; gain and loss are assimilated. I sing the song of the village woodsman, and play the tunes of the children. Astride the bull, I observe the clouds above. Onward I go, no matter who may wish to call me back. Translation by Paul Reps. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Sixth image: Riding the bull home In the Hindu culture, Gods and Goddesses are represented riding on animals as their vehicle. The animal symbolizes the inferior nature that the man dominates and with which he has a good relationship. One must feed and take care of the biological part of our being, without abusing nor relaxing too much. This way the physical vital force becomes an ally. In the drawing we can see how the man is riding the bull without reins, the bull knows where to go and that's where it goes without being directed. He is playing the flute placidly on the back of the bull. The struggle is over, the man has attained the state of enlightment. Commentary by Alfonso Carrasco. CLICK HERE  for source information.

#6. Coming Home on the Ox’s Back. We return to a plausible explanation of the picture. There is harmony between the Oxherder (the ego) and the Ox (the Buddha Self.) Commentary by Ming Zhen Shakya. CLICK HERE  for source information.

7. OX FORGOTTEN, SELF ALONE
Only on the Ox was he able to come Home,
But lo, the Ox is now vanished, and alone and serene sits the man.
The red sun rides high in the sky as he dreams on placidly.
Yonder beneath the thatched roof
his idle whip and idle rope are lying.

In the Dharma there is no two-ness. The Ox is his Primal-nature: this he has now recognized. A trap is no longer needed when a rabbit has been caught, a net becomes useless when a fish has been snared. Like gold which has been separated from dross, like the moon which has broken through the clouds, one ray of luminous light shines eternally.

Translation by Philip Kapleau. CLICK HERE  for source information.

7. The Bull transcended Astride the bull, I reach home. I am serene. The bull too can rest. The dawn has come. In blissful repose, Within my thatched dwelling I have abandoned the whip and rope. Comment: All is one law, not two. We only make the bull a temporary subject. It is as the relation of rabbit and trap, of fish and net. It is as gold and dross, or the moon emerging from a cloud. One path of clear light travels on throughout endless time. Translation by Paul Reps. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Seventh image: The trascended bull The farmer is alone and happy, sitting by his house, the bull is no longer visible. The man has become one with the Being. Instead of the former efforts, a state of peace and happiness reigns. Trancendence is a recurring or temporal experience of unity, beyond dualities. It is an exceptional state of conscience. When we live in a dual world, we always experience the opposites: inside - out, happiness - saddness, success - failure, etc. Duality starts with birth and ends with death. Actually, we live not only in duality, but rather multiplicity. Whereas transcendence implies a unity experience, not duality, not multiplicity, that shows us our true nature. Commentary by Alfonso Carrasco. CLICK HERE  for source information.

#7. The Ox Forgotten, Leaving the Man Alone. The man is at one with the world, he no longer sees a distinction between himself and his surroundings, i.e., his sense of ego-separation has vanished. Commentary by Ming Zhen Shakya. CLICK HERE  for source information.

8. BOTH OX AND SELF FORGOTTEN
Whip, rope, Ox and man alike belong to Emptiness.
So vast and infinite the azure sky
that no concept of any sort can reach it.
Over a blazing fire a snowflake cannot survive.
When this state of mind is realized
comes at last comprehension
of the spirit of the ancient Patriarchs.

All delusive feelings have perished and ideas of holiness too have vanished. He lingers not in [the state of "I am a] Buddha," and he passes quickly I on through [the stage of "And now I have purged myself of the proud feeling 'I am] not Buddha.' " Even the thousand eyes [of five hundred Buddhas and Patriarchs] can discern in him no specific quality. If hundreds of birds were now to strew flowers about his room, he could not but feel ashamed ofhimself.

Translation by Philip Kapleau. CLICK HERE  for source information.

8. Both Bull and self transcended Whip, rope, person, and bull -- all merge in No-Thing. This heaven is so vast no message can stain it. How may a snowflake exist in a raging fire? Here are the footprints of the patriarchs. Comment: Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless. Translation by Paul Reps. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Eighth image: The bull and Self trascended All has fused itself into nothingness. We can only observe a circle, with nothing inside, which means all opposites have disappeared. At this stage the man can't even say "I'm illuminated" or "I'm not illuminated", they don't exist for him, Unity is all that exists. Commentary by Alfonso Carrasco. CLICK HERE  for source information.

#8. The Ox and the Man both Gone out of Sight. This, too, is a statement of attaining Union. "... there exists no form of dualism. Commentary by Ming Zhen Shakya. CLICK HERE  for source information.

9. RETURNING TO THE SOURCE
He has returned to the Origin, come back to the Source,
but his steps have been taken in vain.
It is as though he were now blind and deaf.
Seated in his hut, he hankers not for things outside.
Streams meander on of themselves,
red flowers naturally bloom red.

From the very beginning there has not been so much as a speck of dust [to mar the intrinsic Purity]. He observes the waxing and waning of life in the world while abiding unassertively in a state of unshakable serenity. This [waxing and waning] is no phantom or illusion [but a manifestation of the Source ]. Why then is there need to strive for anything? The waters are blue, the mountains are green. Alone with himself, he observes things endlessly changing.

Translation by Philip Kapleau. CLICK HERE  for source information.

9. Reaching the Source Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with that without -- The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red. Comment: From the beginning, truth is clear. Poised in silence, I observe the forms of integration and disintegration. One who is not attached to "form" need not be "reformed." The water is emerald, the mountain is indigo, and I see that which is creating and that which is destroying. Translation by Paul Reps. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Ninth image: Back to the origin In this image we can see nature in all its splendour, flowers, birds, the river, mountains. It represents what happens after the trascendental experience. Outside the illuminated man, nothing has changed, only man himself has been transformed. He reenters life with different eyes, a new center with another focus guides him. Each time he so wishes he can go within himself and see life through it. All is in peace. Commentary by Alfonso Carrasco. CLICK HERE  for source information.

#9. Returning to the Origin, Back to the Source. This is redundant, the state indicated being completely covered in the 8th picture. Commentary by Ming Zhen Shakya. CLICK HERE  for source information.

10. ENTERING THE MARKET PLACE WITH HELPING HANDS
Barechested, barefooted, he comes into the market place.
Muddied and dust-covered, how broadly he grins!
Without recourse to mystic powers,
withered trees he swiftly brings to bloom!

The gate of his cottage is closed and even the wisest cannot find him. His mental panorama has fmally disappeared. He goes his own way, making no attempt to follow the steps of earlier sages. Carrying a gourd, he strolls into the market; leaning on his staff, he returns home. He leads innkeepers and fleshmongers in the Way of the Buddha.

Translation by Philip Kapleau. CLICK HERE  for source information.

10. In the world Barefooted and naked of breast, I mingle with the people of the world. My clothes are ragged and dust-laden, and I am ever blissful. I use no magic to extend my life; Now, before me, the dead trees become alive. Comment: Inside my gate, a thousand sages do not know me. The beauty of my garden is invisible. Why should one search for the footprints of the patriarchs? I go to the market place with my wine bottle and return home with my staff. I visit the wineshop and the market, and everyone I look upon becomes enlightened. Translation by Paul Reps. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Tenth image: In the world Buddha, after attaining the state of illumination, almost didn't come out again and return to the world. His compassion for all beings finally took hold and the rest of his life he dedicated to intense social work that transformed culture and society in his time. In this drawing the illuminated man now directs himself to other beings to help them. He puts all his wisdom at their service. Commentary by Alfonso Carrasco. CLICK HERE  for source information.

#10.Entering the City with Bliss-bestowing Hands. This picture is the worst offender of the series. It is invariably misread. As we’ve previously noted, despite the fact that the Oxherder, himself, is one of the two figures (the smaller one), most commentaries assume that the fat, disheveled man is the subject of the illustration. He clearly is not. He is one of the drunks that the Oxherder, in his Bodhisattva role, is preaching to and converting. Needless to say, this mis-identification is the cause of considerable modern mischief. Many commentaries which eliminate the Oxherder from the picture identify the slovenly but happy drunk as the fully-enlightened "Bodhisattva." The entire work of spiritual discipline is thus reduced to justifying a return to human society as a wine-drinker and carouser. When the work began, the Oxherder was thin, neat, thoughtful and sober. When the work ended, he was fat, slovenly, insouciant and drunk. The message simply conveys the antinomian idea that the liberated person is at liberty to be a libertine, which, of course, is patently absurd. A man does not become a true Zen master and then become a drunk. It can be, and often is, the other way around. Commentary by Ming Zhen Shakya. CLICK HERE  for source information.

Book, Internet and Other Sources for this page.
Zen Master Kakuan, artist and author of verse and comments known as Taming the Wild Ox, 10 Zen Oxherding Pictures, China, 12th C.
Philip Kapleau, Zen teacher in Syracuse, NY. His book, The Three Pillars of Zen (Beacon Press, 1965) was a seminal compilation of Zen teachings ancient and modern, with the true experiences of a number of Western Zen adepts, including Kapleau himself, in their strivings for "realization."
Paul Reps in Zen Flesh Zen Bones, Tuttle Publishing, Boston, 1989.
Alfonso Carrasco, Director, International Technology Development Group, from Shotokai Encyclopedia on Karate-do Japanese Martial Arts, Chile, 2001.
Ming Zhen Shakya, OHY, Zen Buddhist Order of Hsu Yun, 1998. Ming Zhen Shakya (formerly Chuan Yuan Shakya), is a priest of Nan Hua Si, Shao Guan, Guang Dong Province in Southern China, and contributes essays and other literature to the Zen Buddhist Order of Hsu Yun Web. Ming Zhen is the official editor for the ZBOHY. CLICK HERE for photo.
Martin Schwalbaum, Your Adirondack Guide, former NYC book printer, owner-operator of Fourpeaks Adirondack Backcountry Camps. CLICK HERE for photo.

More about Taming the Wild Ox:  "Searching for the Bull." (An Email Exchange with Uncle Tantra.)

---

Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2007 03:16:14 -0700
From: Uncle Tantra@****.com
To: martin@4peaks.com
For your amusement, A little story I wrote today, citing your
Website, and springboarding off of the Ox series. Enjoy, Unc.

Searching for the Bull

I was away from Sauve yesterday, on a kind of mini-Road
Trip, and didn't get back home until late. I parked my car
down by the river and, hearing the unmistakable sounds of
Bad French Disco music booming from the Place Stivell,
decided not to take that stairway but to go the long way
around and back to my house. After a day hiking in the
Cevennes, searching for stillness and finding it, I just
wasn't up for loud music and partying.

This morning, waking up early and finding that I had run
out of coffee, I grabbed the book I've been reading, a
translation of Zen Master Kakuan's "Searching for the Ox"
series ( http://www.4peaks.com/ppox.htm ), and walked down
the Grand Rue towards Le Commerce, the only cafe open at
this hour. And to my surprise I found the Grand Rue (liter-
ally "Main Street," kind of a joke when you realize that
the two-way street is wide enough to allow two cars to pass
each other only in two or three places along its entire
length), and found it covered with bullshit.

Not metaphorical bullshit, real bullshit. "Aha," said I to
myself, realizing belatedly what all the festivities had
been about the night before, "It's that time of year again.
They had the running of the bulls yesterday, and I missed it."

I saw it last year, and it was a hoot. It's not nearly as
dangerous and challenging as its counterpart in Pamplona.
They fence off a closed course in the village and let loose
about half a dozen bulls, who proceed to run from one end of
the narrow street to the other, chased by young bucks full
of beer and machismo, anxious to prove their worth to the
young women watching from the sidelines. The young women,
playing their part in this testosterone drama, do their part
by acting impressed.

Most of the time the young bucks end up behind the bulls,
chasing animals that are considerably faster than they are,
and whose ability to run is not impaired by alcohol and
testosterone poisoning. If they're lucky, a few of the guys
get close enough to grab onto one of the bulls' tails, and
then get pulled along behind them, their machismo suddenly
transformed into a desperate attempt to not lose their foot-
ing and thus get dragged down the street through piles of
bullshit. But last year I managed to catch a wonderful moment,
one that makes me smile this morning as I walk along avoiding
the piles of bullshit myself, clutching a book that is more
than a little related to yesterday's ritual, and is related
in my all-too-associative mind to a great deal more.

Five of these young bucks managed to get ahold of one of the
bulls. One had hold of his tail, two others had one horn each,
and the other two had grabbed the hair on the bull's back.
For a few moments they were dragged along like this, the much
stronger bull barely noticing them. But then the bull stopped
dead in its tracks, and just stood there.

And the young bucks clinging to the bull shouted triumphantly,
and the young women who knew that they might actually get some
action later that night from these guys shouted encouragingly,
and the crowds clapped politely. The bull didn't shout; it just
stood there snorting and puffing, taking its time, waiting for
the reality of the situation to sink in to five guys holding
onto it and enjoying their fifteen seconds of fame.

Finally, it did. The young bucks' smiles started to fade, as
the same thought hit all of them at the same time: "Ok. Now
we have caught the bull. What now?"

I mean, they're standing there holding on to 1000 pounds of
muscle, sinew and horn, and their smiles of triumph are start-
ing to slide into frowns of consternation as all of them
ponder the same Zen koan, "Now that I've *caught* the bull,
how do I let go and get away without getting gored?"

The memory of that moment, and that look on all their faces,
made me laugh out loud at the time, and does again this
morning as I make my Way cautiously through the bullshit
minefield. In my all-too-associative mind, I relate the
memory to the quest for mystical experience itself, and
that makes me laugh even more.

I mean, think about it. Most spiritual seekers start out as
young bucks themselves, setting out on the path all full of
hope and dreams, their minds full of tales of power told by
seekers and finders from the past. They're hoping to grab a
little of this "mystical experience" stuff for themselves,
and thus share some of the glory that they project onto
those who had mystical experiences in the past and who
recorded them in their tales of power.


And, after years -- possibly decades -- of searching for
the bull, of questing for a genuine, Class A mystical
experience, they *have* one. And it's real, and it's Here
And Now, and it's really mindblowing, and for a moment all

the questing and all of the pursuit of the mystical is
worth it. And then the reality of the situation hits them.
What now?

They look around, and unlike the Grand Rue in Sauve, there
are no cheering crowds. There are no babes to be impressed
out of their panties by their achievement. There is no one
there but them, still holding onto to the memory of the
experience, but *just* like the young bucks in Sauve,
wondering what to *do* with it.

Should they tell someone about it? No one experienced it
but them. And, because the mystical experience was...uh...
mystical, and beyond the experience of most of the people
they *could* tell about it, would anyone they told *believe*
them if they did? The people they tell might even laugh at
them, and consider them delusional or liars.

So what's a mystic to do?

You've captured the bull. You've even tamed the bull and
ridden it. But unlike Zen Master Kakuan, you can't ride
the mystical bull back home and show it to your friends.
It's *your* bull, *your* experience, and you can never
prove to anyone else that such a thing as a bull even
*exists*, much less that you tracked one and caught one
and rode it. There's not even any bullshit on the streets
to prove that the bull ever existed.

So what do you *do* with the bull experience?

That's the quandary that every mystic in human history
has faced. Do I *talk* about this extraordinary experience
that has so changed my life, or do I keep it to myself?
*If* I talk about it, I risk ridicule and disbelief and
claims that I am deluded or a liar. Do I share this
experience with others, or do I go to my grave never
having told anyone else about the extraordinary thing
that has happened to me, and that thus could potentially
happen to them?

IMO, this is the question that determines whether the
seeker is really a mystic or merely a seeker of mystical
experience. The mere seeker probably wisely keeps his
mouth shut, and goes back to his day-to-day existence,
never mentioning the bull to his friends and co-workers.
The mystic talks about it. He tries to find some way to
convey something of the experience to others, in an
attempt to share some of its wonder with those he meets.

And he *is* laughed at. And he *is* called delusional.
And he *is* called a liar. And none of that matters,
because he once rode a bull, and those who are laughing
at him and calling him deluded and a liar have not. If
someday one of the people he talks to about the bull
finds his own bull, and rides it, the two of them can
talk about their respective experiences of bull riding
over a cup of coffee at the local cafe, and smile. The
other people at the cafe, overhearing two idiots talking
and smiling about experiences that all of them *know*
are impossible, can believe that the two are just idiots
talking bullshit. But the idiots themselves still smile,
because they know that if you wade your Way through enough
bullshit, there really is a bull at the end of the trail.

---

From: Martin Schwalbaum
To: Uncle Tantra

Unc--
Thanks for your "Searching for the Bull."

I did enjoy. And followed up with a look at
your Road Trip Mind and Rama. Being somewhat
of a recluse at this time in my life, I'm happy
to learn about the world of Western Buddhism
outside.

I liked your ending a lot, but I think for westerners
"mystics" and "mysticism" are problems in English
and just sound silly. After all, our Minds are
thoroughly immersed in this culture of liberal Christianity
where mysticism has no place and from which there is
litttle hope of escape. For me, I like "nature" or perhaps
"naturism" and think of myself as a "naturalist," like
Thoreau, a role model. When I sit I think how natural it
is, not mystical. (Forgive the quibble.)

Best wishes,
Martin
PS I've added you to my list for occasional email musings
on life here in the Adirondacks.

---

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